Say It Ain’t So

Aw…   New Musical Expresses piece on 29 Rock Myths Exploded is just a party-pooping downer.

No stomach pumps? no song-induced suicides? no mud sharks? no ash-snorting? no doobies in the john at Buck House? no Mars bars? no ham sandwiches?

Aw, come on!  They were such great stories!

Anyway, how do we know Charles Mansion didn’t audition for The Monkees?  Did anyone ask Stephen Stills?  Are we sure Paul didn’t die?  And what about Dylan?  Are we really sure?

And dammit, we gotta believe Keef had those full-body blood transfusions!  It’s just part of who he is!

Who are these people at NME?  Of course Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil!  Everyone’s known that for, like, 75 years.

This is what’s wrong with the Internet.  People can just make stuff up!  Deniers!  Truthers!  Balloon-prickers!  Liars!

Good on Keith Richards, by the way, who, true or not, got himself involved in 2 ½ of the 29 myths.  1^st place, even if it is in an alternative reality.

Surrealistic Pillows

Stumbled across this fun list called 50 Things We Wouldn't Have Without The Beatles.

50 things.  That’s a lot.  Some of them even matter, like: long hair, music videos, stadium concerts, concept albums, backmasking, eastern philosophy, and intentional feedback.  Examples of how The Beatles changed the world.  Speaking of which: musicians trying to change the world.

Other things are true but more curious than impactful:  heavy metal (yes, check Helter Skelter), Monty Python’s The Life of Brian (well, if George didn’t have the money …)

50 things is a lot.  So some are a stretch:  Apple (copycat name and logo), Thomas the Tank Engine (Ringo was cool and all, but …), Nirvana?  Cher?  Phil Collins?

Double albums?  In 1968, everyone had a double album!

Maybe 50 is just too many things.  Like, of course we wouldn’t have Beatles cover bands without The Beatles!  And I guess we wouldn’t have had The Monkees, but …

Keeping the list to 20-25 might have bee a good idea.  A shorter list would have contained less whimsy – a definite Beatles characteristic – but would have carried more credibility.  The impact of the guys is immeasurable.  We don’t need a longer list to establish that.

And yes, Ringo was apparently the first to put a pillow inside his kick drum.  And now it’s time to say goodnight.

It Won’t Be Long

The thing that jumps out of the Rolling Stone Top 25 Teen Idol Breakout Moments is that not many of them lasted beyond the moment.

Fabian, The Monkees, The Cassidy’s, Bay City Rollers, New Kids On The Block … all gone.  Long gone.  Gone and forgotten.

The list has some noteworthy exceptions, of course: Elvis, The Beatles, The Jackson 5 (well, Michael anyway), and Frank Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra?  Well sure.  The whole idol, screaming girl thing started with him.  But RS does describe the list as “of the rock era,” and the hysteria over Frank started in 1942 – hardly part of the rock era.  OK, let’s not quibble.  Strangers In The Night was #1 midway through The Beatles run of hits – and played on the same radio stations.

But most of the names on the list are in the “oh-ya-I-forgot-all-about-him/her/them” category.  Not surprising, because most of the acts were manufactured.  They were not the real deal.  They were not artists who happened to make it big.  They were a product, created to capitalize on the teen idol impulse, exploiting the popular musical style of the day.

Popularity was intense but fleeting, there being no substance to the material.

The list is actually an interesting reflection of our culture, though, isn’t it?  A few timeless greats whose impact cannot be truly measured, and a bunch of fluff quickly consumed and more quickly forgotten.

The wolves are always hungry.