Do Ya Think I’m Sexy - I Mean Clever?

“If you’re a serious musician or songwriter and wish to be treated as such, your chiseled features and smokin’ bod could prove problematic.”  So says 10 Rockers Too Sexy For Their Own Good.

Got it.  Some musicians have flaunted their attractiveness to the point where their musicianship became secondary, and that’s a sad thing.  Even worse, though, is the legion of entertainers who have road their looks to undeserved stardom – especially true in these days of Broadway dance production, monotone melodies and Autotune.

But the real thing that jumps out at me about this article is its total randomness.  Critics don’t take Marnie Stern seriously, and comment on her looks even though she doesn’t dress to exploit those looks?  Liz Phair chose the wrong song?  Rod Stewart was, what, hugely successful with his music and with the ladies?  Ann and Nancy Wilson were bullied and exploited by the chauvinist suits at their record company (and fought back)? 

And listen:  Robert Plant did not write the lyric “squeeze my lemon ‘til the juice runs down my leg.”  It came from Robert Johnson’s Travelling Riverside Blues.  And Johnson borrowed it from Arthur McKay, who we can be sure borrowed it from someone else.  The lyric is probably 300 years old.

Few females I know like Robert Plant, and they do cite his appearance (“acts like he’s sexy but he’s not”) as the reason.  Most males I know have the same attitude towards Rod Stewart, but they disguise it with criticism of his somewhat juvenile choice of songs.  But Plant, Stewart and the Wilsons have sold a gazillion records and are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

So what exactly does “too sexy for their own good” mean?  Nothing, as far as I can tell, except maybe an eye-catching title (sexy) that lures you into reading an article that has no regard for facts, context or logic.

Guess it worked.

Believe I’m Sinking Down

Have I ever mentioned I’m not a fan of award shows?  I rarely watch them because they always disappoint.

But I made an exception this year and watched the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductions. I mean, Rush, Heart, Albert King.  Gotta be good right?

Guest appearances by John Fogerty, Tom Petty, Jackson Brown, David Grohl, Gary Clark, John Mayer.  People I admire.  Music I love.  Gonna be good for sure.

Nope.

Lame speeches.  So-so performances.  Well-meant and no doubt all very sincere, but in the end, just a bunch of silliness.

You know, when Alex Lifeson gets the most applause for literally saying “blah blah blah” for 3 minutes (though it seemed like 7), the evening has been kinda dull.

Cool jam on Crossroads as the credits rolled, though.

Listen Up

There is no better way to get your attention than to kick off a song with a killer riff, as illustrated in Gibson's 10 of Rock's Greatest Guitar Intros. 

Something new, something clever, something loud, usually something simple.

Hey!  Over here!  Pay attention.  Stop what you’re doing.  You’re gonna dig this.

It’s arguably part of the formula for a great rock song.  As hinted by the carefully worded title, these are 10 of rock’s greatest intros, not rock’s 10 greatest intros.  The comments below the posting really drive this home.  No end of worthy candidates.

Though, really, is there anything better than I Feel Fine?  No wait!  Layla.  No, Start Me Up.  No, no, no!  Blackdog.  Wait! …

Queens of Rock

Saw a PBS special a while back entitled Women Who Rock.

I usually put such shows on as time fillers, not expecting to learn - or be entertained - all that much.

It was pretty good though. Cyndi Lauper did an impressive job as host. Knowledgeable, passionate – and, of course, fun.

Lots of familiar territory and expected coverage: Carol King, Janis Joplin, Aretha Franklin, the Wilson sisters from Heart. But a couple of surprises. Never heard of Wanda Jackson before. Don't know how I missed her, but glad to have that little gap in my history databanks plugged. The other surprise was no coverage of Fleetwood Mac.

You kidding me? Weren't they like the biggest band in the world for a couple of years, with not one but two women singing, playing and writing? Kinda strange.

Two small insights came at me:
1) Sister Rosetta Tharpe really was vastly influential. The male testosterone dominated pantheon of guitar heroes borrowed a lot from her. A lot.
2) Madonna has a lot to answer for. The show covered a lot of female artists who have arisen in the last 20 years, and made a big deal about the music scene actually being (finally) dominated by women. That may be, but are they rockers or dancers? With a few notable exceptions, like, say, Christine Aguilera, the voices aren't noteworthy at all. But the dancing's pretty good, I guess.

It kinda confirms this uneasy feeling I've had for a long time now. It's about the marketing, not the music. Eye candy and Broadway, not rock and roll. Would Janis Joplin or Chrissie Hynde even get a record deal now?

You gotta admire what Madonna has accomplished, but I'm not sure she did us any favours.